Today is my husband’s birthday! This post is dedicated to wives and husbands. Many times, we can treat our spouses good on their birthday, Valentine’s day, etc. It’s important to treat your spouse as if it were their birthday everyday! Though I am definitely not a marriage expert, I do enjoy being happily married to my love and I can honestly say we are IN love – we’re far from “perfect” but we love the life we built together as a family of 4. I aim to do the following daily, and I’ve seen how it has blessed our marriage. This works also vice versa (for husbands to treat their wives also!). Here is How to Treat Your Husband Like It’s His Birthday Everyday:
- Pray for him daily! Cover your husband in prayer always. This is our responsibility as wives. If we are not praying for our husbands, who will? It’s our duty.
- Know his Love Language. There are 5 Love Languages according to author Gary Chapman. While we were taking our premarital course with our Pastors, we took the Love Language test and uncovered each other’s love language. My husband’s primary love languages are Quality time and Acts of Service while mine are Quality time and Physical touch. Everyone interprets love and feels loved differently, therefore it’s important to know your spouse’s love language in order to make them feel loved. In other words, I try to make sure I spend quality time with him and aim to serve him daily.
- Be his “Bestest” friend. Be each others “bestest” friend – the one he can’t wait to tell how his day went or when he has good news!
- Be his support. When he’s stressed, don’t add to it. Be his suitable helper like it says in Genesis 2:18. Be the person your husband knows he can run to for help and a word of wisdom.
- Be his #1 fan in everything. I am my husband’s cheerleader. I admire him and love to celebrate him. My husband plays drums and soccer and I love to be his #1 fan in these things.
- Give him your undivided attention. Don’t allow any distractions when you are conversing with your husband. We live in a social media world, but being on your phone when someone is talking to you is simply rude. Rule to live by: No cell phone when you are both talking!
- Cook his favorite foods. You don’t have to be a chef but it’s always good to learn to cook instead of eating out. Cooking may not be my favorite thing, but I learned to cook basic dishes for my husband and my family.
- Don’t nag. There is nothing more annoying than nagging. I do not like nagging nor do I like to be nagged, so don’t do what you don’t like people to do to you.
- Don’t speak negatively. Speak with wisdom like the woman described in Proverbs 31.
- Always look at his positives as opposed to what he doesn’t do right. Confession time: During the first month we had Olivia Joy (our 2nd baby) I adapted quickly to becoming a mom of 2, yet I was a little stressed perhaps because of the lack of sleep or my body being physically tired and recovering from a c-section. I was easily bothered by the little things and tasks my husband didn’t do, so I would point it out with a bad attitude and it would lead to pointless disagreements and arguments. Then, one night, God showed me that if I wanted to see a change (whether big or small), the change must happen within me first! And from then on, I was determined to only look at the positive and ALL the good things my husband does.
- Let him have his alone time/ guy time. My husband has always been a big athlete, from playing soccer weekly to tennis to going to the gym. And now that we’re married with 2 under 2, he continues to enjoy these things – of course, not everyday, but most days.
- Spend quality time. This is both of our top love language. Quality time is equally important to both of us. Spending one on one moments is something we love to do daily no matter how busy our life gets.
- Have a healthy intimate life. Intimacy is not only sexual but also closeness, one on one togetherness. Our babies go to sleep around 9PM. That gives us at least 2-3 hours to be together, whether it’s our time to unwind, watch a TV show together, or simply laughing about funny things -we know it is OUR time. We value this time and it is one of the reasons we do not co-sleep with our babies. Since Caleb was a newborn, he slept in his bassinet and moved to his bedroom at 3 months. We worked together to get our babies to sleep through the night. A baby that sleeps through the night does not only produce a happy baby, but also happy parents because we are not tired during the day.
- Welcome your husband with love. I celebrate every evening when he comes home from work and I show my kids to be happy too! Our toddler Caleb runs to the door and says “Yay!” every time he sees daddy arrive. We welcome him at the door with lots of love and hugs and kisses.
- Look your best for him. There are 2 people I try to look good for: Myself and my husband. Being with the babies at home, cooking, cleaning, and doing a number of things, can obviously leave you little time for yourself. However, it’s important to shower first thing in the morning! Do NOT stay in your pajamas all day! I don’t understand how some women can get dressed and look their best when they go out in public but could care less about how they look at home where the main person they should be looking good for, is! Even if you’re not planning to go out, still get dressed and comb your hair. I try to put concealer and a hint of mascara. Do what you do when you go out. Trust me, this will make you feel great at home. Do it for yourself and for your husband.
I hope you are able to apply these ways into your marriage and are able to have a happy married life with your love.